Child! The remote does not go in your drink
Nor should your bedroom wall bear your surname
Sand goes in the sandbox, not down our sink
And staying up past ten is not a game
Do not feed the dog the dinner I made
Do not place your shoes on the cutting board
Please answer me the first time you are bade
And stop sneaking sweets for your hidden hoard
Take to heart my endless rules and complaints
And you will grow up to be civilized
The neighbors will place you among the saints
And we will no longer be ostracized
Our home will be orderly, quiet, sane
Until we’ve grandchildren to entertain…
