Borrowing the idea from our friends James and Julie, a few years back we decided to start including humorous “kid quips” with our annual Christmas letter. We’ve noted that as our kids get older, their funny comments are less often accidental. To our delight, they instead come in the form of intentional wisecracks. Of course, not every joke hits. But when they do, it can be well worth the wait. Either way, our crew continues to provide us with plenty of solid content for consideration.
Mandatory Fun (Saint Louis, December 2022)
Ella: You look so funny in your man tights.
Dad: These are compression pants. Pro athletes wear these. They are performance wear.
Ella: Yeah, man tights.
Dad: That vest really looks nice on you, Andie.
August: YOU look nice, Mom. Ha! I beat you, Dad.
Dad: You did son. You did, indeed.
Truman: I’ve always been unsettled by babies.
Ella: You should get a new phone case. Yours is boring.
Aunt Brenna: Ever consider that maybe I like boring?
Ella: No. That’s even worse.Ella: What is all this stuff?
Dad: This is my costume for Mardi Gras. Papaw and I joined a krewe this year.
Ella: Are you in a cult now?
Mom: Hey August, where’ve you been?
August: I was up in my room reading How to Kill a Mockingbird.
Dad: August, what’s your current grade in science?
Ella: He has a D.
August: I do not have a D. Why would you say that?
Ella: I don’t know, I’ve just heard a lot of talk about D’s lately… deez nuts!
Dad: I need to take the car in. I’m sure this is going to cost me an arm and a leg.
Truman: Yikes, I hope they don’t take your arm and leg!
Dad: Well, there’s nothing that says it has to be my arm and leg. On an unrelated note, do you want to come with me to take the car in?
Truman: Pass.
Ella: Can we have Indian for dinner?
Dad: Sweetheart, we don’t eat Indian for dinner. We eat Indian food. We do not want to make that mistake twice.
Truman (without missing a beat): Poor Jeffrey.
Ella: Truman, which of your squishmallows do you love most?
Truman: The llama. I've known it the longest.