Christmas Incandescent
It was, of course, only a matter of time
Nine hundred lights on a single string?
Cool to the touch and they change color on a dime?
And if one goes out, you don’t lose the whole thing?
No, there was never really any doubt
Delay, though we might, we knew our tree
Eventually would be strung inside and out
Shining brightly with the magic of LED
Christmas, indeed, has at last modernized
Elevated and illuminated, as advertised
Now only in my dreams of yuletides obsolescent
Trees trimmed in gold glow incandescent
Holiday Hoodwink
There once was a boy from Saint Lou
Who thought that just one dog would do
Then his wife’s puppy scam
With finesse and flimflam
Turned his one-dog Christmas to two
alone under the
mistletoe, again
alone am i
under the mistletoe, again
alone am i
left to wander the garden glow
a wrong left turn, a right, and then
abondoned by family and friend
alone am i
give me a break
such drama from the patriarch
give me a break
perhaps if you paid attention
you would not so oft miss your mark
inside this botanical park
give me a break
xmas in
10, 9, 8…
the short hand solemnly slips past the two
as the elf from his shelf grins and guffaws
the gift of gifts, a heap, not nearly through
instructions that offend all nature’s laws
rubbed eyes turn red and language turns blue
sleep a distant dream for this weary claus
and yet it’s worth the effort it will take
atomic joy detonates at daybreak
a kick in the giblets
to my dear, sweet friend, year twenty-twenty
our giblets are now thoroughly trounc-ed
we began the year with hopes a-plenty
and by march they’d been fully renounc-ed
You hurled upon us a plague disgusting
Your murderous hornets were close behind
by summer, civil rights were combusting
and by fall, justice appeared all but blind
but here’s the trick, twenty-twenty, old friend
though we are down, we are not nearly out
to the contrary, we’re now on the mend
still standing despite all you brought about
so good luck and without further adieu
here’s one last giblet kick, from us to you
christmas reminiscent
Christmas Morning (Saint Louis, December 2010)
Recall the patter of pajamaed feet
In days before screens or expectation
Before siblings were present to compete
When mystery required no preparation
In days before screens or expectation
When onesies were standard attire
When mystery required no preparation
When adoration was easy to acquire
When onesies were standard attire
When eyelids grew heavy at two
When adoration was easy to acquire
And Christmas remained brand new
When eyelids grew heavy at two
Before siblings were present to compete
And Christmas remained brand new
Recall the patter of pajamaed feet
The Thief (St. Louis, December 2018)
it’s the thought that counts
Hiding in this house
There is a loaded gift card
That ne’er will be found
Helping Santa with the Cookies (Saint Louis, December 2016)
christmas bacon
Since your recent departure I have found
That you have become rather well-traveled
I appreciate that one might object to this notion
And on reasonable grounds
But I do not think it would trouble you
And it most certainly does not trouble me
Where, precisely, you are off to, is a subject of some debate
Of course, I do not recall you ever visiting a farm upstate
And I cannot imagine why you would wish to see one now
But there are many places I expect
Were long on your bucket list
And I am delighted to entertain the conviction
That freed of your local obligations
You now are making excellent use of your time
Of late, I also have been struck
That perhaps you have determined
To accompany the Old Elf on his rounds this year
I admit that this is a ridiculous idea
And a curious decision on your part
Particularly because, if we are honest
You never really liked children
But I suppose that if you are free to do as you like
And, without question, you are
A whirlwind tour of the world
With a famous and fantastical guide
Seems a reasonable choice
So with this in mind
We are preparing for the possibility
That you will visit the old homestead
If only for a fleeting moment
In the quiet hours
We will be asleep, of course
But alongside the cookies and milk
You can be sure that you will find
A plate of Christmas bacon
Because it is your favorite
And because we want to be sure
That in your travels, you are well fed
And that you do not forget us
Because we most certainly
Have not forgotten you
Front Door Christmas Wreath (St. Louis, December 2015)
across the yule table
across the yule table, you catch my eye
and though no words are exchanged between us
shared gratitude emanates in reply
for the gifts, unearned, bestowed upon us
for the friends who unfailingly stand by
for the family who breaks bread with us
for the child humbly born in a stable
for this moment, across the yule table