There once was a boy who did boast
That he’d wed a sweet girl from the coast
After ten years and three kids
He was so glad he did
For he knew he was more blessed than most
There once was a boy who did boast
That he’d wed a sweet girl from the coast
After ten years and three kids
He was so glad he did
For he knew he was more blessed than most
Get hip to the Bix, was the beat you laid
Pros were tapped out, considered and weighed
Cons were lost, drowned out by the hi-hat
Objections overcome by the rat-a-tat
Like Buddy Rich every day you played
Your message, syncopated, in cascade
Each note carefully, expertly made
My protests no match for your scat
Get hip to the Bix
At last, into your time I swayed
(I could never resist your serenade)
And we were a trio just like that
The pup proving to be one hip cat
Our refrain an echo of your crusade
Get hip to the Bix
Darling Wife
When I awoke last night
I could not help but note
That you had claimed three-fourths of the bed
And the dog had claimed one-fourth
Leaving me approximately no-fourths
And as I teetered on the abyss
Stripped of sheets and dignity
I felt rather certain
That this was not touched upon
In our wedding vows
Remember those walks along old King
An afternoon stroll, a late night return
Idle talk of what the future might bring
The cobblestones’ click and the gaslights’ burn
An afternoon stroll, a late night return
A ring, a proposal, a marriage
The cobblestones’ click and the gaslights’ burn
A pup, a first child, a new carriage
A ring, a proposal, a marriage
A little home on Roundhouse Lane
A pup, a first child, a new carriage
Nothing to lose, the world to gain
A little home on Roundhouse Lane
Idle talk of what the future might bring
Nothing to lose, the world to gain
Remember those walks along old King
Wife: The OB said
expect them early next year
Husband: Sorry, “them”?
Child! The remote does not go in your drink
Nor should your bedroom wall bear your surname
Sand goes in the sandbox, not down our sink
And staying up past ten is not a game
Do not feed the dog the dinner I made
Do not place your shoes on the cutting board
Please answer me the first time you are bade
And stop sneaking sweets for your hidden hoard
Take to heart my endless rules and complaints
And you will grow up to be civilized
The neighbors will place you among the saints
And we will no longer be ostracized
Our home will be orderly, quiet, sane
Until we’ve grandchildren to entertain…
From the kitchen you fly, Hermes in your wake
Dishes stacked like art, ants in celebration
The dishwasher on a perpetual break
The sponge unclear regarding its vocation
Societies evolve from an old milk shake
The sink witnesses the birth of a nation
A gift, lovingly left for your Charlemagne
At last, a kingdom over which he can reign
To the garden you fly, with the rising sun
Trowel unholstered, ready for the draw
Weeds cower in corners, knowing they are done
Vines tighten their tangled grip, fearing the law
The squirrels they scramble, the rabbits they run
No creature dares trespass a single paw
You reign supreme in this green, glorious realm
Your garden nation, along the southern elm
Glass-cutter
Tot-transporter
Pup-primper
Hurt-healer
Monkey-wrangler
Cloud-dancer
Tree-tender
Dad-calmer
Spider-siren
A-irline pilot
N-ot lately flying
D-o not despair
R-eady your wings
E-ngage your engines
A-nd prepare for the “all clear”